Funny Jokes to Make Fun of Your Friend
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Bad jokes that are actually pretty good
Ah, bad jokes. They're lilliputian guilty pleasures nosotros indulge in with giddy enthusiasm every chance we get. They make us groan, say "Are yous serious?", and, of course, make us chuckle. Bad jokes can be brusk, corny, punny, and deliver some of the best one-liners ever. What's not to love?
If you're a sucker for a good bad joke, you're in luck. Beneath, you'll notice a list of our funniest jokes that just and so happen to pack groan-worthy punchlines. Enjoy!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting moo-cow.
Interrupting c–
MOO!
Nosotros had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the book.
4 / 177
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these short jokes for kids anyone can memorize.
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What exercise you become when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?
…
Get it? Bad jokes don't even demand a punch line to be funny! Check out the funniest jokes on the cyberspace.
ix / 177
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way. These hilarious beast cartoons show that animals are funnier than humans.
10 / 177
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said, "Wow, it'southward pretty hot in here." The other ane shouted, "Wow, a talking muffin!" For more than laughs, bank check out these travel cartoons that observe the funny in everything.
11 / 177
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All information technology was doing was collecting dust. If this one has you smirking, these dad jokes will really give you a chuckle.
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What is Forrest Gump'southward email password?
1forrest1.
13 / 177
Did you hear almost the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize.
fourteen / 177
Did yous hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
15 / 177
What'south the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They're both purple except for the rabbit. This joke made be bad, but these other "what's the difference between" jokes are hilarious!
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Two windmills are standing on a current of air farm.
Ane asks, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other says, "I'thousand a large metal fan." Here are some funny ane-liners that are sure to get some laughs.
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I like elephants.
Everything else is irrelephant. Read more than elephant jokes that are a ton of laughs!
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What's crimson and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
xix / 177
Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks.
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What do you phone call a fake noodle?
An impasta. If y'all thought this was funny, you lot'll love these other hilarious what exercise you call jokes.
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Did you lot hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He only needed some space.
23 / 177
What practise you call an alligator in a vest?
An in-vest-igator.
24 / 177
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality. Idea that was proficient? You'll love these tea puns!
25 / 177
A homo and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
"Hey, yous tin't go out that lyin' there!" The bartender yells out.
The human turns effectually: "Information technology's not a king of beasts. It's a giraffe."
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The wedding ceremony was so cute.
Fifty-fifty the cake was in tiers.
28 / 177
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're dead. Don't forget to check out these dinosaur jokes for more laughs!
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Go information technology?
30 / 177
What do you lot phone call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me 1 with everything.
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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"Supplies!"
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It'southward inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are not a dad.
Information technology'southward a faux pa.
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What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison!
37 / 177
My new thesaurus is terrible.
Not only that, but it's also terrible.
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What do you lot call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Bob.
39 / 177
What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?
A minor medium at large.
40 / 177
What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
"Oops!" If biology is more your thing, check out these biology jokes that really cell themselves.
42 / 177
Three fish are in a tank.
I asks the others, "How practise yous drive this matter?"
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What's the dumbest creature in the jungle?
A polar bear.
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What practise you phone call a human who tin can't stand?
Neil.
45 / 177
I used to be fond to the hokey pokey…
… just then I turned myself around.
47 / 177
I don't trust stairs.
They're e'er up to something.
48 / 177
Wife: "How do I look?"
Husband: "With your eyes."
49 / 177
What's the all-time role most living in Switzerland?
I don't know, simply the flag is a big plus.
50 / 177
Have you heard the rumor near butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't be spreading it.
52 / 177
I submitted x puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
53 / 177
RIP, boiled water.
You will be mist .
54 / 177
What practice you lot call a Frenchman in sandals?
Phillipe Floppe .
55 / 177
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look upwards lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
56 / 177
Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke . Nosotros can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons correct at present.
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I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call information technology my trail mix.
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What do you do if you lot meet a fireman?
Put it out, human!
59 / 177
That'southward a pretty skillful ceiling.
It'due south non the all-time, but it's upwards there!
60 / 177
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It'southward ok, he woke up.
63 / 177
What'south the difference between a hippo and a Naught?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
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Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees?
Because they're pretty proficient at it.
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You want to get down to the bar to hear that band chosen Duvet?
They're a cover ring.
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What practice you call a crocodile that is also a detective?
An investi -gator.
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The only thing apartment earthers have to fear. ..
…is sphere itself.
69 / 177
Name 1 fragrance commercial that has always made sense.
What are you talking about, they all brand scents!
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Where did Noah keep his bees?
In the Ark Hives.
72 / 177
What genre are national anthems?
Land.
73 / 177
I hate Russian dolls.
They're so total of themselves.
74 / 177
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter.
"That'due south ane too many!" says the client. The clerk replies "Information technology's a freebie."
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I can cut a piece of wood in half but by looking at information technology.
You lot might not believe me, simply I saw it with my own eyes.
76 / 177
Did you adopt your dog?
No, he's my biological domestic dog. Check out these other dog jokes that are pawsitively hilarious.
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I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room.
They said, "Thank you." I said, "Don't mention it."
78 / 177
A limbo champ walks into a bar.
He loses.
79 / 177
When the moon hits your knees, and yous mispronounce trees
Sycamore
80 / 177
How do yous make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
82 / 177
What did the frustrated true cat say?
Are you kitten me right meow? True cat hiss ridiculous.
83 / 177
When does a joke get a dad joke?
When it becomes credible.
84 / 177
The COVID-nineteen situation has been especially stressful for the Apartment Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though.
85 / 177
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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My married woman just completed a 40 -calendar week torso building program this morning.
Information technology's a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Not to throw more numbers at you, simply we have 50 jokes here for all 50 states.
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Why are in that location so many different kinds of pasta?
If I had a penne for every time I asked myself this question.
88 / 177
What did The Rock say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers?
I'grand non much of a boxer, but I'll wrestle y'all for it.
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Where do you have someone who'southward been injured in a peek – a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
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Nurse: Blood type?
Dad: Cerise. By the way, you lot'll honey these nurse jokes that are RN-believably funny.
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A person is walking downwards the street and hears a agglomeration of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, "19 ! nineteen! nineteen! nineteen!" Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the debate.
S omeone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting, "20! xx! twenty!" Here are the best jokes from A-Z!
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I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married.
The ceremony wasn't swell, only the reception was amazing.
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What practise you call a magician who lost their magic?
Ian.
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Why can't y'all explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They e'er take things literally.
95 / 177
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A do-you lot-think-he-saurus.
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I had a flake implanted in my body.
It was a Absurd Ranch Dorito. Yum!
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Why is Peter Pan e'er flying?
He neverlands . We love this joke because it never grows onetime.
98 / 177
To impale a French vampire, y'all need to drive a baguette through its eye.
Sounds like shooting fish in a barrel just the process is painstaking.
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What do we want? Depression-flight airplane noises! When do nosotros want them?
NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
100 / 177
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Wow, I've never seen a weasel before. What tin can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
102 / 177
Today I gave my expressionless batteries away.
They were costless of charge.
103 / 177
Why do ghosts love elevators?
It lifts their spirits.
104 / 177
5 guys walk into a bar.
You call up one of them would've seen it.
105 / 177
Who are caterpillars' biggest enemies?
Dogerpillars.
107 / 177
Why practise yous tell actors to pause a leg?
Every play has a bandage.
108 / 177
What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was.
109 / 177
Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how I feel about that.
110 / 177
What kind of dogs beloved motorcar racing?
Lap dogs.
112 / 177
My favorite give-and-take is "drool."
Information technology merely rolls off the tongue.
113 / 177
I merely wrote a book on opposite psychology.
Do not read it.
114 / 177
What do you call birds who stick together?
Vel-crows.
115 / 177
I was sitting in traffic the other twenty-four hours.
Probably why I got run over.
117 / 177
Where do spaghetti and sauce get to dance?
The meatball.
118 / 177
What do y'all get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. If you thought this was funny, you lot'll love our other cow jokes!
119 / 177
This library has ii stories.
Can hardly call it a library.
120 / 177
I like to spend every day every bit if it's my last.
Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.
122 / 177
How does your feline shop?
By reading a catalog.
123 / 177
What do you telephone call a factory that sells passable products?
Satisfactory.
124 / 177
What practise you phone call a unsafe sun shower?
A rain of terror.
125 / 177
What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?
Corny.
126 / 177
What'south the concluding thing that goes through a problems's mind when information technology hits a windshield?
Its butt. Oop! Attempt these political jokes on for size at your next family holiday—they're guaranteed to get you lot a laugh.
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What happens when a frog'southward car breaks downward?
It gets toad.
128 / 177
I went on a one time-in-a-lifetime holiday.
Never again.
129 / 177
Parallel lines have and then much in common.
Information technology's a shame they'll never encounter.
130 / 177
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the machine?
"Robin, go far the automobile."
133 / 177
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If annihilation, it made him more sluggish.
134 / 177
My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.
It seemed very of import to him that I have it. Read these best friend tweets for more laughs.
135 / 177
Accept y'all heard of Tater'due south Police? Ok, but have yous heard of Cole's Police force?
It's thinly-sliced cabbage.
137 / 177
Did you know Jesus collection a Honda but just didn't talk about it?
John 12:49: "For I did non speak of my ain accordance."
138 / 177
How do you lot talk to Italian ghosts?
With a Luigi board.
139 / 177
Time flies like an pointer.
Fruit flies like a banana. Don't forget to bookmark these fruit puns that are berry funny!
140 / 177
Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, "You ever worry nigh that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter."
141 / 177
What'due south East.T. short for?
He'due south but got little legs. Science lovers will science-love these physics jokes!
142 / 177
Two men run across on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other "I demand you to help me to go to the other side!"
The other guy shouts, "You are on the other side!"
143 / 177
What's orangish and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
144 / 177
What came offset, the chicken or the egg?
Safety. Safety always comes kickoff. In the case of these hilarious egg puns, the egg always comes offset.
145 / 177
This is your helm speaking.
AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.
147 / 177
Coroner died.
Still went to piece of work. If y'all thought that was funny, you'll love these work from home jokes.
148 / 177
Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore.
149 / 177
I bought a dog from a locksmith.
The 2d I got him in the house he made a commodities for the door.
150 / 177
What's the divergence betwixt ignorance and aloofness?
I don't know and I don't care.
152 / 177
My girlfriend broke up with me considering I quote Linkin Park besides much.
But in the end, information technology doesn't even matter.
153 / 177
What practise you call bears with no ears?
B.
154 / 177
What'south a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
155 / 177
What did the swordfish say to the marlin?
You're lookin' abrupt.
156 / 177
What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
The eeriest. If yous laugh at these dark jokes, you're probably a genius.
157 / 177
Where can yous purchase soup in bulk?
The stock market.
158 / 177
How do you stop a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit card.
159 / 177
What was the frog's job at the hotel?
Bellhop.
160 / 177
Why are the Irish gaelic so wealthy?
Their uppercase is Dublin.
162 / 177
What kind of shoes do robbers wear?
Sneakers.
163 / 177
Why did the invisible man refuse the chore offering?
He couldn't meet himself doing it.
164 / 177
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
165 / 177
What exercise you phone call banana peel shoes?
Slippers.
166 / 177
Did you hear about the cheese mill that exploded in France?
There was zip left only de Brie. Cheese is archetype joke forage. Here are 17 classic light bulb jokes that'll make you sound smart.
167 / 177
Why were they called the Nighttime Ages?
There were lots of knights. If you have more than of a twisted sense of sense of humor, these night jokes are for y'all.
168 / 177
My boss just texted me,
"Send me one of your funny jokes!"
169 / 177
Want to hear a roof joke?
This one's on the firm.
170 / 177
What kind of pants does Mario wear?
Denim, denim, denim.
171 / 177
Where does the general go on his armies?
In his sleevies. This joke is very cuties. Here are 9 secrets to telling a great joke, co-ordinate to comedians.
172 / 177
How does the squid become into battle?
Well-armed.
173 / 177
I broke my finger terminal week.
On the other hand, I'm ok.
174 / 177
Do you employ your correct paw to stir your coffee?
I use a spoon. Check out these relatable tweets for more laughs.
175 / 177
You're non completely useless.
Y'all can ever serve every bit a bad example. By the style, we're serving up these ice cream puns but for you—bank check them out!
176 / 177
What practice Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Aforementioned middle name. Here are xv simple (and silly) April Fool's jokes to play on your kids.
177 / 177
What do you lot call someone with no trunk and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Sources:
- Buzzfeed, "21 Clean Jokes That Are And then Dumb They're Actually Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "21 Dad Jokes So Ridiculous, I'm Most Mad At Myself For Laughing"
- Buzzfeed, "18 Punny Jokes That Take No Correct To Be Equally Hilarious As They Are"
- Buzzfeed, "100 Dad Jokes You're Going To Detest Laughing At So Difficult"
- Buzzfeed, "If Y'all're Tired Of The Same Old Dad Jokes, Hither Are xix Very Funny New Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "23 Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They're Proficient"
- Buzzfeed, "Distressing, Merely There's No Way Y'all Won't At To the lowest degree Smile At Any Of These Dad Jokes"
- Buzzfeed, "25 Jokes And Puns From National Tell A Joke Day That Might Make Y'all Whorl Your Eyes"
- Buzzfeed, "13 Absolutely Hilarious Jokes Told In Movies"
- Buzzfeed, "Every Weird And Awkward Person Will Observe These 17 Tweets Hilarious For No Particular Reason"
- Buzzfeed, "Reddit Is Sharing Their Best Jokes, Here Are 17 Really Funny Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "17 Dad Jokes That Made Me Groan, Roll My Eyes, And Then Repeat To My Friends"
- Buzzfeed, "eighteen Jokes That Volition Brand You Laugh Even If You're Having A Bad Day"
- Buzzfeed, "27 Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids That Are Actually Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "xix Twitter Jokes That Are Just Very, Very Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "Nosotros All Dearest Dad Jokes — Only How Many Of The Punchlines Do You lot Actually Know?"
- Best Life, "150 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny"
- Bored Panda, "52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever"
- Reddit, "What's a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?"
- Best Life, "40 Hilarious Jokes No Ane Is Besides Quondam to Laugh At"
- Parade, "Ha Ha Ha—101 Corny Jokes That Are Then Bad They're Actually Funny Skillful"
- Fatherly, "55 Bully Clean Jokes for Funny People Who Don't Swear"
Originally Published: Jan 19, 2022
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/bad-jokes-cant-help-laugh-at/
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